*For the record this is not legal advice. I am most likely not a lawyer where you live and there is no way I know the family laws in your area. I always recommend talking to a lawyer in your town with any legal questions about this blog.*
I am a family lawyer. I am also an avid personal finance and business nerd.
I originally started this blog as an outlet for my business nerdiness. However, I changed this blog because of a client I met named Joe.
Joe was not the first client I ever had to tell me he attempted suicide when his wife left him. He is the first person who described in detail the steps he took to place his shotgun in his mouth. He couldn’t take the stress anymore. He was without his wife and he was soon to be without his pension. He told me the he couldn’t see how he was going to pay for his future and therefore didn’t see a future. He was seconds away from pulling the trigger. The worst part was in my office there was little I could do to help him now. It was too late. He didn’t prepare for a potential divorce and he couldn’t handle the financial stress.
Financial stress is one of the biggest stressors after a separation. I have seen pensioners lose their pensions. I have seen family’s that are barely holding on with their finances completely implode. I have seen more than my fair share of bankruptcies. I have seen very few clients end up okay after a separation.
I have seen clients a few who end up okay after a separation. The truth is there are ways you can plan and prepare for your divorce. The key is to PLAN AND PREPARE. There are three important steps when planning for a family.
Step 1: Decide what you want.
In personal finance books the first step recommended is always deciding what you want out of life. Do you want to be able to smell the scent of one million dollars in your hands or do you want to smell the fresh the fresh forest air in your cabin. Do you want to have a fast paced life with luxury or do you want a modest life with little work.
There are several strategies to discover what you truly want in life. I have read several books that help you with this question.
Step 2: Plan to get what you want.
Once you know what you want out of life you can make a plan to get it. Once again personal finance books really help you create plans to achieve your goals. There is one problem with personal finance books. They don’t help you prepare for a divorce.
When you plan for a divorce you must consider raising your finance goals higher than you would otherwise. You need a back up plan.
Step 3: Include your partner
This plan is very important. You must incorporate your partners goals in your plans. If you don’t you are more likely to separate. I had this personal problem with my partner last year. I had plans of being a multi-millionaire by 35 years old and she planned on having a simple middle class lifestyle where we didn’t have to work after 40 years old.
Our plans contrasted so much we separated. It wasn’t until I realized that my love for her was greater than my love of acquiring money that I realized I should reflect on my goals. She helped me realize that money wasn’t my true top priority. She helped me realize that I actually want to help people more than I want to acquire. I have changed my focus and I am much happier now.
If you follow these three steps during your relationship you will have a much better chance to avoid a separation. You can understand what your partners goals are and how you can achieve yours and hers at the same time. That step alone may prevent a divorce.
*This blog is intended to give you quick and simple advise. If you have any questions feel free to message me on this blog. I can give more detailed advice if you ask me.*